Amoxicillin, Doxycycline, Lyme Disease and A Concussion

Please excuse the long absence from posting here. I think I had a bit of blogger fatigue along with just some regular ol' damn, I'm tired fatigue. But I'm back! Wapah! (I wish I was clever enough to be able to insert sound bytes into these posts. Can you even do that? Anyway, I'll just focus on actually forming complete sentences for now.)

It's funny I revisited the blog a few days ago and started rereading some previous posts. I always wonder how they can be of any interest to people who don't know me. I guess it's just nice to read about other people's lives every now and then in order to distract from your own.

So I've just been buckets of fun the past month and a half. It all started out with a cold that turned into Strep A which later turned into Lyme Disease which I had acquired in the very beginning from a lovely tick while hiking along San Bruno Mountain. I should have realized that poison oak wasn't the only concern while tromping through the brush on the overgrown trail. I should have recognized that the bullseye mark on my leg was not from a spider. That would have saved me probably a few weeks of misery. Oh well. Nothing a few antibiotics can't destroy-I hope.

Just when I felt like I was getting back on track and regaining some energy I ended up getting nailed in the head with a softball during the first game of the season. I've never suffered such a blow and two weeks later, I still have a bump on my head. I have to say that was a bizarre experience. I actually had to focus on simple tasks, writing and conversations. I felt like I was a foreigner trying to learn the language. Now when I space out when someone at work is boring me with talk about creative "synergy" and "thinking outside the box" I can blame the concussion. Everything for a reason I guess, because if I wouldn't have been hit in the head I wouldn't have gone to the doctor to get it checked out and happen to ask as a side about the crazy "spider" bite I had on my leg for the previous two weeks.

Enough with my medical history...I want to write about...Nutella. Seriously, how can something so damn chocolicious exist in this world? If I had the skills (and the time) I would have it nestled into crepes, with bananas and whipped cream. The beauty of Nutella is that you can pretty much slather it on anything and it would still be just as fabulous. Nutella Hot Dogs, Nutella Pizza, Nutella and Cheese. Okay, maybe not 'anything'. Graham crackers seem to work for me. Like Oprah says, we should find something every day that we are grateful for. Today, I am grateful for Nutella.

Kidding aside, I always seem to find a way to distract myself from what I'm trying to accomplish. Whether it's my portfolio that's taken me 5 years to finish, some freelance job I'm trying to complete, getting in shape, finishing this painting, volunteering, saving baby seals, learning Swahili, how to change a tire, or make self portrait out of lime jello (haha very punny). See, I recognize I have a problem of finishing what I started. I procrastinate like nobody's business. I can come up with a million other meaningless tasks in order to avoid finishing what really matters. Do I get points for at least recognizing this pattern?

My friend E. somehow convinced me to go to this "class" with her tomorrow. She said it was more of showing support for her. So of course I said yes. Then she gave me a few more details. She spent 3 days participating in this seminar designed to help people change their lives by learning how to deny their past and other crutches people use to prevent them from living fearless and constructive lives. It's all about communication and having "authentic" conversations with the important people in your life. I love all the buzz words. Anyway, she did say something that kind of struck me. She said that while standing in front of a hundred or so people, you tell what YOU think your problems are and the "instructors" tell you the brutal truth, which sometimes people don't often see themselves. The one thing that resonated was that "everyone is fucking scared" we're all scared of each other, of what we want to do, of if we can do it and we're scared of ourselves." It just kind of made me think, well yeah, why the fuck do I hesitate so much? Why am I so scared of failing? We all have to sooner or later.

I'm still a bit suspicious. She wanted me to stay for the full three hour session but I could only commit to the first half. We'll see. What do I have to lose right? She sounded great though. I think it's working for her and that makes me happy.

I'm just so thrilled that I am feeling like my old self again. I can finally get back and focus on the things that matter. It's amazing how much your health means. I'm not going to push it though. No frollicking into the wee hours of the morning, no swimming with sharks or circus-joining...for now.